Thursday, October 11, 2007

Extrapolating the Pro-Abortion Choice Strategy [Serge]

As usual, life has been busy, but I've been working on a new strategy to confront another evil in our culture: drunk driving. In fact, here is a speech that I've written which explains the strategy in detail. I have learned much from our pro-abortion choice opponents, so maybe applying their strategy here will bring new insights.

"I am here tonight to deal with a large problem confronting our culture, which is teenagers getting injured in drunk driving accidents. I believe we can all agree that we should work to decrease the number of injuries in these accidents, and we also agree that despite our efforts, these injuries occur all too frequently. We need to do something different.

Presently, our focus right now is attempting to educate kids that drinking and driving is wrong, and they should not do it. In other words, we have an "abstinence-only" drunk driving education policy. And yet we still have this problem. Furthermore, we threaten those who drink and drive - even those who are not involved in an accident - with civil punishment including loss of their license and even incarceration! And yet this problem still exists! This is simply a remnant of the faith-based neo-con right wing religious wing nuts who believe there is objective right and wrong. Clearly, we need another strategy, and I believe we can borrow one from those involved in the pro-abortion choice reproductive freedom (to kill their offspring) movement. Let me highlight my new plan.

First, since we know that many teenagers are going to drink and drive, educating them not to will never be effective. We need to send them off into the real world with better protection. I propose that we eliminate barriers to access for improving one's chance of surviving a drunk driving accident. Specifically, I propose that we offer, at taxpayer expense, the ability for teens who wish to drink and drive to have their cars modified with roll cages, five point restraints, and driving helmets. This is a scientifically proven way to decrease deaths in accidents. If such devces can save the life of a NASCAR driver traveling at 200 MPH, why do our drunk driving kids deserve any less? We will end up saving money in the end because of all of the decreased medical bills. Them cars are much easier to put together than our teens.

Second, I find it a travesty that our kids are being "educated" merely by being told that drunk driving is wrong. What about those who choose to drink and drive anyway? Alcohol abstinance training will be a joke to them, and better education is the answer. I propose that use "comprehensive" drunk driving education. For those who agree that drunk driving is wrong - great! However, for those who choose to drink and drive - they need better education. Specifically I propose that we lay out a structured drunk-driving skills course that the students can use to practice their drunk-driving skills. During school, for those who are interested, they will be given a teacher-observed dose of alcohol. They will then be able to get behind the wheel and attempt to finish a driving skills course while they are intoxicated. This will give them a real-life skill that they can use to avoid accidents when they make the choice to drink and drive. For those who believe this would actually encourage other students to drink - well, I guess they are wrong. Or something.

Lastly, we have had a generation of kids who did not have the advantages of my proposed education program. And yet a number of them are being punished for drinking and driving. You simply can't regulate morality, and previous attempts have failed. For that reason, I recommend that we decriminalize drunk driving immediately, including clemency for those who are being punished right now for this "victim less" crime. The one thing that we can never consider is making this a crime ever again. We must decrease the number of drunk-driving deaths by education and protection, not by making criminals out of those who merely make the choice to drink at high speeds. Although I do not drink myself, and would never drink and drive, I am completely pro-choice on the question of drunk driving. We simply need to make it safe, legal and rare. Thank you."

Do you think this idea will get much traction?


  1. Serge, you're brilliant. I've heard this analogy before but you've laid it out better then anyone ever has. Keep up the great work!

  2. I especially liked the safe, legal, and rare bit at the end. Man does that line make me want to scream...


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